Immoral Inc. [entries|friends|calendar] Esoteric [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[09 Jun 2004|01:02am] What's the difference between an abortion and a watermelon? One's small, red and delicious and the other is a watermelon Whats the best part about fucking 24 year olds? There's 20 of them :) Who is the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It's rated Arrrrrrrrr!! A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic whose drinking problem is destroying his family. Did you hear about the blonde who jumped out off a bridge? She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem. Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed. Two men are sitting in a bar. One man turns to the other and says: 'Last night I saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house.' The other man replies: 'Yes, she has become a prostitue to subsidise her drug habit.' How many Vietnam Veterans does it take to screw in light bulb? I Don't know That's coz you weren't THERE, man!! YOU WEREN'T THERE!!!! Two Pedophiles go visit the beach with their kids. One dad says to the other "Hey! Get out of my son." What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson fucks little boys. :) lovin it.. In other news, my birthday sucked. More on this in the late news, at 10 O'clock you'll never be as good as me

Sick sad world... [07 Jun 2004|06:15pm] Man Commits Suicide After Sex with Hen Fri May 28,10:50 AM ET LUSAKA (Reuters) - A 50-year-old Zambian man has hanged himself after his wife found him having sex with a hen, police said Friday. The woman caught him in the act when she rushed into their house to investigate a noise. "He attempted to kill her but she managed to escape," a police spokesman said. The man from the town of Chongwe, about 50 km (30 miles) east of Lusaka, killed himself after being admonished by other villagers. The hen was slaughtered after the incident. -------------- How does one have sex with a hen anyway, without tearing open the poor animal. I guess theyve gotta have an orifice big enough to fit an egg out.... hrmmm makes sense... But still, dibs not. I wonder who came first, the chicken or the man :) In other news... birthday tomorrow. meh. 3 reasons why| you'll never be as good as me

Today [06 Jun 2004|08:17pm] Note- Kill Bill is best seen back to back. Now, to patiently wait for a collecters dvd set. Subnote- Still addicted to I-Sketch. I fear it will result in a lack of study these coming weeks. Postsubnote- God is a sock. you'll never be as good as me

teh funneh [06 Jun 2004|08:11pm] heh, good times... you'll never be as good as me

Movie Review #1 [06 Jun 2004|07:16pm] The Day After Tomorrow- A movie I had been looking forward to for months. It wasn't quite what I expected, but then again, it wasn't too bad either. Lots of people died. Not nearly enough for my liking.... and the deaths weren't nearly comical or sadistic enough. Admitted, a guy getting hit by a billboard flying through the air at 100km/hr IS pretty funny... but that was about it. The rest just froze and stuff. Freezing's cool and all, but there's no blood. The people demand blood, Roland Emmerich! You denied us large quantities of blood in Independance Day and Godzilla..... why do it again? Australia doesn't seem to get particularly effects by the storm... which is good... I guess... The only bits frozen over were Melbourne, and around perth.... Which is ok. Tasmania was out of view on the map but I assume it was pretty fucked too, being further south and all... Not a huge fan of Dennis Quaid, but Jake Gyllenthal is cool. I was waiting for his little girlfriend to die of blood poisoning too... but it didnt happen. Pity. Overall, a pretty average disaster movie. Too much hope. Lacking in despair. Special effects are very nice, but 90% of it is in the first half of the movie. If you're going to make a disaster movie on a large scale.... go hog wild. More people need to die. Rating - 3.5 Domokuns you'll never be as good as me

Milk and cereal..... : / [27 May 2004|03:20pm] [ mood | confused ] Milk and Cereal Phear them... 3 reasons why| you'll never be as good as me

I'm an enzyme.... huzzah [27 May 2004|12:22am] You are an enzyme. You are powerful, dark, variable, and can change many things at your whim...even when they're not supposed to be changed. Bad you. You can be dangerous or wonderful; it's your choice. Which Biological Molecule Are You? you'll never be as good as me

A fresh look for our favourite fruit. [27 May 2004|12:11am] Tired of MSN's shitty pear? Try my new, BETTER pear. Guaranteed to be twice as irate as previous pear versions. you'll never be as good as me

Let's get this started shall we. [26 May 2004|11:05pm] [ mood | hungry ] [ music | Zepyr Timbre - Black Beat ] Anyone who has no seen the following video, should. I edited out all the crap, and skilled right to the good stuff. Enjoy. Click! mmmmmmmm..... bloodalicious. you'll never be as good as me

Hey! Wow! Look! [26 May 2004|10:41pm] Thanks evie, for helping and stuff. Here, have a dog! The rest of you can laugh at this retard. Look at him run! :D Run! RUnnnn!!!!111 1 reason why| you'll never be as good as me

[26 May 2004|08:01pm] ( the bigger the better ) 2 reasons why| you'll never be as good as me

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